The person that does not talk back

I talk to her a lot. Wishing she talked back, asking her for advice, telling her about my day, telling her how much she was and IS loved. Telling her how she was the best mother in the whole world. It mostly happens when I'm in my car driving. I think that's because that is when I used to call her most times. She would know it too, just by the sound of my voice what I was doing. When I was in college and called her sometimes she would just ask if I was feeling lonely, and although this did not happen a lot, she would always ask when I was feeling lonely. Mother's are always so comforting, even when you're older and you think you've moved on from needing a mother. I don't think that the moving on actually ever happens. For example, two summers ago, I got into a pretty bad bike accident. I don't remember much, but I hit my head pretty hard, broke my collar bone, and was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I was fine when I was talking to Deb who was at the hospital with me. However, when Deb put my mom on the phone, I just broke down. I lost it. I was scared and I needed my mom there.

I try to still ask for her advice, and I still break down and cry when I talk to her. It's hard. It's scary. But I think the talking helps. I think it's important. I am not sure why, but doesn't talking about it usually help everything?