The Afterlife

I am a firm believer that when a person dies, they go to this amazing peaceful place where they watch over all of us. I know some people might think I'm crazy, but I like to believe my mom is in this wonderful place with her Dad and her sister, just making sure we are all okay. I am also very very very positive that I can feel her around me sometimes. The first example of this was one night when I was lying in bed. I am sure I was thinking about her because it wasn't too long after she died. All of a sudden I could smell her. It was so distinct...I was not in a place where her smell was anywhere...It was her. It lasted probably ten seconds but I wanted it to last forever. I don't even think i took a breath during the ten seconds, just let her be there, wanting her to stay. After the smell went away I just cried. I couldn't do anything else, just cry. There has been one other time, pretty recently when the same smell happened again. It was as I was leaving for work one day and was locking the door behind me, not really thinking of much, when it happened. It was her smell...so distinct..so out of no where. This time I took it in again, just stood there for the few seconds, not really breathing, hoping she would stay longer. This time however, I just said, out loud, "Hi Mom." It felt good to acknowledge her presence. Let her know I felt her there with me. I wanted her to know she could visit whenever she wanted to. I will always embrace these visits, and now they make me smile a little bit, knowing she is really there checking in to make sure that I am okay.

I also really believe that she visits me in my dreams. My dreams are a place for us to see each other and to talk, or more for me to talk (which makes it more real). Right before Thanksgiving was the first time I had my most realistic dream with her in it. I dreamt that we were at my Aunt's house as usual and she was there. She said that she was able to come back for all Holidays and birthdays. I kept trying to ask her what it felt like when she died, if she was at peace, if she was okay and a million other questions. But I was crying to hard. I could never get my question out. But she was there,and it was so real. She looked so beautiful. She looked so happy to be around us. I woke up from that dream crying. Wishing it would come true.

I do believe she is there. Watching over me, and visiting me in my dreams.